The importance of friendship at work

In the last episode of The Office (UK) Tim turns to the camera and says this:

"The people you work with are people you were just thrown together with. I mean, you don't know them, it wasn't your choice. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family. But probably all you have in common is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day."

Tim of course runs out into the night to chase the one colleague he could stand walking around on the same bit of carpet with. They make out. It's lovely. The audience had been waiting three years for it to happen.

It is easy to be cynical about the nature of work relationships. Tim is right. Most of our week is spent with people we are just thrown together with. But we don't need to limit ourselves to this lonely and soulless reality. Some of the best moments I've had in my professional life have come from working with people I care about. I've been blessed to meet people I've come to call friends - who I've shared wedding days with, the births of our children, engagements, new houses, new pets, renovations and birthdays. There have been sad times too - funerals, changing jobs, break ups and bust ups. These triumphs and tragedies, unite us, bind us and bring us together. It gives us something share beyond carpet and work. And it's really important we make the effort to know our colleagues.

In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor lists social investment as one of the seven principles that fuels success at work. Achor explains that in times of stress and difficulty at work most people tend to shy away and spend more time 'on work' (even when at home) than they do with people. Research shows that successful people, and by extension organisations, actually strengthen their connection with people during times of high stress. They still take time to laugh and swap stories, to share coffee and have lunch. People who work together on a problem are more likely to solve that problem. Social investment, even just stopping in the hallway and asking someone how they are, is a positive interaction that sparks a moment of happiness. The more of these moments we share, the stronger our social connection and the better we can perform our work.

In each of the places I have worked I have sought to do this. I am not by nature an extrovert. But I like people and I like learning. I really like people who like learning which is a major reason why I've made friends with teachers. Our job is incredibly demanding and rarely acknowledged (at least by government). The friendships I have formed have sustained me through some tough times. Like any profession it is full of politics, pressure to perform and strange traditions. My relationships with the people I work with make it all bearable.

When I was disappointed at not being promoted it was the people around me who pulled me through. They encouraged me, dissected it with me, drank with me. One told me to stop moping and realise the opportunity for what it was - a step forward.

The good times are just as important. At work we celebrate birthdays with a morning tea or lunch. One person's special day is everyone's chance to catch up and descend on the staff room. A few years ago, having made the decision to work the day before my wedding, I arrived to find my desk "wedding bombed". I was still picking glitter out of books eight months later. It will be one of my enduring memories of the place - even as I forget the kids, VCE score and curriculum documents. My recent blog on the trivia team was a collection of colleagues who got together in the middle of school holidays. I've stopped counting all the Strathmore and Rosehill aunts/uncles who have visited my new born.

It is easy to be cynical. It is really hard to be open and honest with our colleagues. But it is worth it. I, for one, can't imagine working in a place where all I shared with people is the carpet. I've managed to achieve a lot in a relatively short amount of time. I know I could not have done any of it without my friends.

Especially the one I ended up chasing, making out with, marrying and having a daughter with. She's one of a kind.

Tim knows what I mean.